Feeling Weepy today

After a great day at the park, I came home to call some more midwives in my search. I spoke with a few and then just wanted to stop. I really don't like it. I never really know what to say or ask. What I really want to say is, "Do you love being a midwife and will you enjoy the time we spend together?" I always end up talking in a circle, asking the fee and talking about how I birthed a 9 1/2 lb-er that was 3 1/2 weeks "late" with no problem. I have two in home appointments next week. They are in the evening so maybe Danny can help sort this out. I really want Liz. It's almost worth it to just pay her to stay with me the second half of June until the baby comes. Probably still wouldn't cost as much as some of the midwives charge. So now I just feel weepy. I am so on the verge of crying and have several times this afternoon. I guess I want to really know that the midwife is like me or isn't judgemental about religion, etc. I know my birthing will be easy and so wonderful. Gabriel and Julianna said I didn't need to worry- that they would "catch the baby together and make sure to put down soft blankets for the baby to land on". That made me smile! But it really is that easy. I guess I really just want to have that extra pair of hands here at a moments notice any time of day or night. That's not easy for a friend or family member really. Hmmm, now that I'm thinking, I wonder if my sister Tina would come and catch the baby. She wanted to come when the baby was born anyway. Hmmm, I think the evening is looking brighter!! Baby Jade just kicked- must be in agreement!