Dreams!

I had some dreams last night. I've been going to bed trying to connect with my little one and it was nice to dream again. I'm not sure what these dreams mean, but they are interesting. The first one was about a homebirth. My midwife showed up later after I had an unassisted birth. I caught a beautiful baby girl. She was peaceful and perfect. Just looking into my eyes full of wisdom and love. The midwife was massaging my uterus to bring it back to shape- I had birthed the placenta. She said, I'm thinking there's just one, Amy. I said, that's fine! I'm so thrilled with this little one! She's perfect! The dream ended with my midwife still massaging my uterus and then things were changing a bit. The grapefruit sized uterus was perhaps another baby's head. Hard to say, I woke up.

The next dream was different. Danny was out of town. I was alone. I don't know where the kids were. I drove to St. Rose Hospital. I excused myself at the front desk and went into a room. I easily birthed the babies. They were twins. Twin girls. I surprised the nurses there and they asked me why I was by myself. They weren't mean just curious and thrilled that I did it all by myself. One nurse came in and put a pair of glasses on one baby so I could tell them apart! (I took them off, saying that was silly.) I packed up the babies and left. I met up with Danny, he was thrilled, but sad he missed it- we were in a lobby of some sort. Maybe an airport? Next thing I knew we were at an outdoor concert hall. I was to take the place of my friend Rachel to sing at this huge open air concert I walked around the loop trying to find Diana who was my guitarist. The twins were suddenly toddlers, toddling behind- one wearing glasses! I found Diana and got started. But I announced to the crowd that I had just birthed twins that morning. I was actually standing there with a huge pad and adult diapers one under my pants! The crowd cheered and I sang Alison Kraus. Danny offered to play with the twins at the park and I just sang and sang, though I could watch every minute of Danny playing with the girls.

So here's me in the evening.... at 35 weeks

Can you tell any difference from the AM?

35 Weeks belly update

Roman helped me take some photos. Looking at my pregnancy journal, it marks today as starting my 35th week. Hmmm, there are so many different dates! This journal goes day by day from conception (which I am certain of). So, I may go in to the first week of July. I feel like I am really gaining now. Baby feels heavier. I'm also trying to stop and put my feet up throughout the day. I did some great meditation this morning. I feel so refreshed and unworried. My worry comes from the idea of twins. I really am not feeling twins. But, I like surprises so I'll leave it at that! I started weighing myself morning and night. It's amazing that there is such a difference! Usually 2-3 lbs! I think it's so different because of water/ dehydration. I am only getting up to "pee" once at night, I'm sure because I just need more water! I weigh 141 and my belly measures 40 inches around. These photos were taken first thing in the morning. I'll see if I can remember to take one at night to compare the difference. My rash is gone. My mind is without fear. I feel great!

A Baby Shower and Blessing!

Wow, my dear friends gave me a baby shower. I was totally surprised! I was shocked to find out that all my children knew and so did Danny! No one give me any hints or inkling that this was happening! It was yesterday. Our homeschool gathering was scheduled and we planned to go. I went grocery shopping in the morning and it took way too long. We ended up arriving at Rachel's house (the wind drove us indoors) around 2pm! I felt embarrassed yet filled with joy as the gang yelled Happy Baby Shower. Holy cow! So many people there giving me attention at once! It was overwhelming yet so lovely! They made all organic food- yummy!- and even had gifts, flowers and pin the baby to the ninny! So many amazing things. I felt so special. The day went by so fast. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to bask in the love that was surrounding me. The best part was that the girls worked to create blessing beads for me to have for my birthing time. Each one wrote a hidden blessing in a flag shaped piece of paper and rolled it up with glue onto a skewer. When dried the beads were laced together and made a beautiful blessing necklace. I love it! I will feel the love during my birthing time. What an absolute treasure. Gosh, I so excited with everything. I am so happy to have such dear friends.

My friend Faith, who is a midwife, was there, too. She felt my belly to "check" for twins. She felt all around and could trace the baby. She didn't know what was in the lower right side- maybe placenta, but her opinion was that if there were twins, the one "behind" would have to be very small. She didn't rule it out, though, which I thought was interesting. She has never caught twins and I'm thinking that if Lydi feels strongly that there are twins, I'll invite Faith to the birth if she it's ok with Lydi.

I listened again this morning to my belly. I still hear the two placenta sounds. I really keep hoping to feel something dramatic to feel for twins. Nothing yet. I just don't know. 5 weeks to go.

Ready for this???

This is NOT me. This is a woman 34 weeks pregnant with twins (same week as me now). Not as huge as one would think!!

So, after the PUPPS rash came the idea of another boy since 70% of the time that's the case. Danny thought that was unlikely because we have three boys and this rash never happened before. So, he started looking around the web to find his own ideas. He became convinced that the rash was because I am having twins. I felt twins at first. So I decided to just listen around and I heard two placentas. One on the left one on the right. Hmmmm, I thought why would that be? I considered that perhaps the placenta was going across the back side of my uterus but wondered how it could be so large! I've listened for two heartbeats. That's hard. I hear heartbeats all over the place. I've tried to time the heartbeats. It seems that one was faster then the other. Hmmmm, again.

I don't do ultrasound so there aren't many places on line that give clues to twins because most people just get an ultrasound. I decided I wanted to set up and appointment with the doc I have been to who does energy work. (He's a chiropractor and works on both a physical and energetic level.) He was the one who first told me I had twins back at week 11, but that one was a disappearing twin only there for "support" for the other one crossing from spirit world to physical world. He told me I'd have spotting in the next week or so after that as the "twin" was to be "reabsorbed". Well, I communicated with the baby (ies) and told the guide that if he or she wanted to stay that I would be welcoming with open arms. Well, no spotting.

Time passed and I stopped growing as quickly, thinking that perhaps he was right and that the twin had returned home to the spirit world after doing it's "job". I didn't think anything of it as I was measuring small and not really gaining tons of weight. Then came the rash, the placenta sounds, etc.

I went back to my doc and asked him about twins. He said, Yes, there are twins! Holy cow! I was totally overwhelmed. He was so confident and descriptive. One wanted out asap and the other was patiently waiting. They seemed to him to be both girls and very dynamic and healthy. It was an amazing visit. I called Danny right away and he was so excited. Wow! He told me to go home, take it easy and call my midwife.

I spoke with my midwife later in the day. She really was full of doubt. She told me she thought I was too small for twins. But she said, she'd be happy to be wrong! My next appointment with her is June 2nd and she's going to check all around then. She has delivered 77 sets of twins at home and has no worries about it if that is the case. She said she missed two sets but one woman was obese and the other was very tall and one baby was directly behind the other.

So here I am. I wonder. I am not worried about having twins. It would be incredible. I do worry that I haven't eaten enough protein.

Danny is super, super excited and we sat and talked about names for long time. We are back to Jessica and Julia for girls. He also decided he really likes Mitchell along with Michael. (even though the kids have friend Mitchell, he still likes the name.) Danny is totally convinced that I have twins. I'm still waiting to feel another set of feet. I have felt hiccups that seemed low and hiccups that seemed in the middle. Gosh, it's so hard to know. I look forward to having my midwife feel around on June 2nd.

34 weeks belly update

Danny took these photos. He wanted to show me how large I really am.

PUPPS Rash is pretty much gone

I took the advice of my midwife and had lemon in water first thing every a.m. and I have been taking dandelion root 3 times a day. I've also been using calendula soap and calendula oil on my legs. What a difference! I feel great!

Itchy Rash

I've had a problem with my skin for several months now. I thought I was dry from the cold weather, then I thought I was irritated from the laundry detergent. Then I thought it was from the heat. It was just on my thighs now it has moved to my arms, belly, butt, and calves. I have started to get very itchy on the bumpy, dry looking spots. It's really bad at night from the warmth of the covers, I guess. I was awake last night from 2-3am looking on line as to what it could be. I'm nearly positive it is pregnancy related. Something called, "PUPPS". It's related to fetal cells passing in to my liver or something like that. It's not at all harmful to the mom or baby and goes away after the birth. I'll put up more info later. It is usually in the 3rd trimester and most common among women carrying a boy- 70%- or twins. Hmmmm, I've been thinking that's strange. I've had 3 boys and never had this before. I also don't think how I could be carrying twins in such a small space! It's funny how when I first became pregnant I thought I had twins. That would be a huge surprise.

I'm going to call my midwife tomorrow. Now I'm going to go lather on some calendula soap in a quick shower. (heat makes it worse).

Visit from Lydi

I had my visit with Lydi today. It was wonderful. Despite all my "weight" worries, the baby jumped a huge jump to measuring "right on" at 32! How amazing! Lydi also was able to hear the heart beat with her Pinard horn. It was neat to see her eyes light up as she heard it. (she told me she is getting fitted for hearing aids) She said, "It sounds like a girl!". We had a lovely conversation. I think she was a bit worried that we might be moving before the time the baby comes, but I reassured her that we were stuck here! She did tell me to start drinking two green drinks a day, up my greens and minerals. I just had my second greens an hour or so ago. I feel such relief knowing that no matter my weight, the baby is just fine. Lydi also said it looks more like the baby will be on time- born by July 3rd. I love that she shares her intuition with me.

Conversations with God

My sister sent me this little conversation....

A newborn's conversation with God....A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'
'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.''Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.''But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'.

I thought it was so cute. I've been reading the Conversations with God books and other books by Neale D. Walsch. Very enlightening. I really feel like this is stuff I've always known. It's nice to feel in touch with my soul. It keeps me going as things can appear so rocky these days.

Found a baby book!

I have been looking for another C.R. Gibson "All my Life" baby book that is a whole life book, like the one I was given. I found 3 for the boys 8 years ago. There were actually many, but I only got three at the time. One for Roman, a new one for Trish and one for Danny because he never had one. Well, Roman wasn't to be the last DeArmas after all so the other two were given to Gino and Gabriel. Now that the new one is on the way, I looked again for that book and it sold on ebay for $131! I was amazed. Everytime I check for one it's going for close to $100. (I wish I would have bought 20 of them in 1999 FOR $15) So I looked to see what else was out there. Most baby books stop at age 5 or 7. But... I found a treasure! This Log o'Life was published in 1942 and is a whole life book! It's so sweet (and dated, which I love!) I bought it for $5 on ebay and I have a bid in for another one for Patricia so she can finally have a good one, too. NOTE: I won it! It's teal blue instead of pink. Trish says she will pick once the baby's born- if it's a boy she'll give him the teal one. I'm so excited!

32 weeks

Feeling good. Dry, dry, dry skin! A friend, Evette, leant me some gorgeous maternity clothes! I feel so pretty wearing them. Now with my sister's clothes and these, I can actually avoid just wearing big t-shirts and sleeping shorts to stay comfortable. I really enjoy being pregnant. I've probably written that a bunch of times, but I just think it is so amazing. I was lying on my left side this morning in bed and I noticed that I was totally lying on a "foot". I immediately readjusted by body and then rubbed the little one to say "sorry". The baby is getting so big. I love guessing the bumps. The baby is moving bigger moves now and the children get a real kick out of watching by belly move! I'm still trying to get everything in order around here. I only have the classroom to really clean out. That's quite a challenge. Everything can be used for "school"- even old electronics, beads, lace, etc etc. I'll see what I can do. I'm back to 135. I think I'm going to stop weighing myself and just measure. Too much water weight to factor in. Life in the desert. Geez.