19 weeks today

So my belly is looking great!! I'm measuring nearly 34 inches around my belly!

My chest is 35 inches- nice to need a bra again!
My waist is 27 inches (what's left of it).

My sister Dawn and I had a funny conversation about "building the foundation". When I get pregnant I get pillar thighs and a hoochie mama butt!! I'm convinced it's so I don't tip over as my belly grows! Well, by golly, my butt has reached it's hoochie mama status! Dawn and I joked that I should be measuring my butt instead of my belly! She said she's laugh her head off if I posted a picture of my butt on my blog- well, look out below! (I considered showing it off as naked as my belly, but I'm just not that bold!)





Measuring in at an impressive 36 inches....
my butt!

Me and the LifeLearner Mamas

Great bunch!

Gino feels the baby move!!

Last night Roman and Gabriel had fallen asleep. Gino was up playing with the little flashlight when Baby Jade started to kick. I told him to put his hand on my belly and he felt it! The baby moved and kicked at least 10 times for him to feel it. The look on his face was priceless!

I came downstairs after Gino fell asleep and had Trish try to feel it. She felt one little bump!! Wow- she grinned and grinned! But that was it. Baby Jade must have been worn out from playing with Gino!

How exciting!

I dreamed a boy

Last night I had a very real dream about the birth. We were here in the guest room and the baby was born in 3 1/2 minutes! I had decided it was time to have the baby so I went and pushed the baby out! The kids and Danny were leaning over, just eager to see the genitals when this wiggly little one came out with a smile and the boys yelled, "It's a boy! It's a boy! Now there's two per side! Two per side!" and they danced around the room in a circle filled with joy! We were all very excited and it felt great to hold the baby. We all laughed and said, I guess we need to figure out a name for this little fellow!!

I weighed 120 lbs.

I weighed myself today. 120 lbs said the scale. Hard to say how accurate it is. Gino weighed 43. But it may be right on. I feel heavier even though I'm still at 33 inches around.

Thoughts...

First of all, I'm really going to turn the airplane path "problem" around. Our path is on the way to Vegas. The airplanes are full of happy vacationers who are full of hope and excitement. Each time I hear a plane, I'll pass that excitement on to Baby Jade. The noise won't be a bothersome thing. It will be something that brings about the good feelings felt when on vacation!

Secondly, I was thinking about my dreaming of Danny Young, a student I taught. His father died of cancer when he was 12. I went to the wake. It was very difficult. I was so full of grief for all he would miss doing with his Dad. I looked at the man lying there, and seeing his youth and all that his physical body would miss with his son and family. Danny was a strong kid. He knew his father was going to die. The time came and he was as ready as he could be. He welcomed me to the viewing and was a gracious as an adult.

When Danny was in my class he was always full of questions. Full of "why". Everything needed explaining. As I stood at the wake of his father, it all became clear. All the "why" questions were for him, about him and his young life being threatened day by day as the death of his father became eminent. Not really about American history or the Constitution. I wish I could have been able to help him with his real "why". But I probably knew less about life and death then he did. He could have taught me a thing or two. Perhaps I should have been more willing to listen.

So he comes in my dreams. Perhaps my spirit baby wants me to re-feel that feeling I had seeing a 12 year old boy lose his father. Perhaps I'm supposed to understand why the caution surrounds my spirit baby. I know the loss of a mom. I was more then twice 12. I had "grown up". It was different. And I didn't lose both parents. She did. What a feeling she must have had. I wish it could have been different. But I will re-assure this spirit the best I can that this is a new life. A new experience and I plan to be in the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest woman!!

Strange the feelings pregnancy can unleash!

Reading, "Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives" by Deepok Chopra

I got a new book to read out of the library yesterday. I like it. It's a holistic guide to pregnancy and childbirth. Deepok Chopra always has good things to say. But I am worried by one thing he wrote. "Scientists report that mothers living along the flight path of a busy urban airport produce lower levels of growth promoting hormones and are more likely to have smaller babies than those living an equal distance from the airport but not directly under the flight path." Of course, I am right in the path and I've felt this baby is smaller then all the others since the beginning. I wonder...

I really felt uneasy reading that. I guess I really need to spend more time out of this house and away from the flight path. I will definitely encourage my body to continue to produce good growth promoting hormones no matter where I live.

Turning 40

I thought perhaps I should take a photo of myself instead of just my belly since I'm turning 40 tomorrow! I was really amazed to see that I have such green eyes now. I "hide" behind my glasses so much I sort of forget what I look like. I don't spend much time looking at myself! I did get organic makeup for Christmas from Danny (my request) and I've been using it. Not alot, just enough. I remember being in my teens and looking in Dad's bathroom wondering what I'd look like when I was 40. I remember getting on make-up for various plays and having to "draw in" the wrinkles around my eyes and lips. No need for that now!!! Funny, it's always been about being 40. Don't know why that age, but here it is....

I like that I'm turning 40. There's so much I am looking forward to.

During my spirit baby consult Walter mentioned that the spirit was concerned about my dying like I did when we were together in a previous lifetime. I apparently died when she was 12. She thought it was her "fault" and applied that to why I didn't want to "have" her in this lifetime. But I have communicated with her that all is well and that I plan to live a long, long life. I did this again last night- re-assuring- ang immediately it popped in my head that I'll be 52 when this baby is 12. That's how old my mom was when she died. I again reassured the spiritbaby that I'm not my mother and I plan to be 100 when he/she is 60. It's strange how that worry feeling keeps coming back to my mind. This spirit must reaaly be concerned about that. I hope I can eleviate those fears.

Another belly shot

Strange dreams

I always have strange dreams while I'm pregnant. Last nights was rather interesting. I went to bed talking to baby Jade asking if perhaps I could dream about him/her. I had a dream that I was on a stage performing. I was there with many other girls- I think they were my sisters. Anyway, I'm singing and singing away (in my college auditorium, by the way) and realized that my microphone wasn't on. The a/v guy came to fix it. I was then singing away again. After the show was over we all went to the bathroom to change. The bathroom was in the old Memorial Stadium in Baltimore. We all changed and laughed and talked about the mic not working but that I was singing so loudly that I really didn't need the mic anyway. So, next thing I know there is a fierce tropical storm and no one can leave the bathroom. That fades and I end up in a bathroom of a beach house my family rented in Ocean City, MD. Many of my old students are there. Eventually they leave. I look in the cupboards and realize I have no food. We go out to the back yard- which suddenly has a gorgeous garden with a fish pond. I run in to go to the bathroom and find a huge bag of bread. Apparently one of my students had left about 8 loaves of bread. We had a bread feast and that was the end of the dream.

I would have much rather had a dream about holding a little baby! But wow, why so much in one dream??? I did enjoy the singing part. I was really talented!

I found a midwife!!

Lydi (pronouced like "Loodee")

Lydi Owen will be my midwife- phew- I am so glad that is over! She is really just what I wanted. I knew as soon as I opened the door for her visit that she was the one. I felt, "Ah, my midwife is here!". Little Baby Jade "danced" when we first sat down to talk- I guess the baby was telling me to choose her, too! She's a mom to 6 grown children and is so full of knowledge and experience is incredible. Here's her site... http://www.powerbirth.com/

She and I talked for 3 hours and the time flew by! She has some midwives coming from Denmark to learn her powerbirth technique. She's asked them to bring her a wooden fetoscope. (her dog ate hers!) She was born in Denmark but has made Las Vegas her home most of her life. Lydi said that this wooden fetoscope works so well that it can actually pick up the vibration as well as the sound of the heart.

We think alot alike. It's great to know that I won't feel like my homebirth is a medical event. I feel quite honored, actually. She told me she isn't taking new clients anymore. She only catches babies from mom's she's had as clients in the past. But she felt a connection with me and felt like I'd be just what she needed and so she found it easy to set our appointment. I'm so glad that Rosie recommended her.

I heard the placenta!

I listened last night (really trying to hear the heartbeat) and I heard the placenta- wooom, wooom, wooom- YIPPPEE! It was amazing! I used the fetoscope. It seems to be on the right side curving a bit down rather then up. Wow! It was so great to hear it! My digestion was so loud I couldn't hear the heartbeat. I'll try listening in the morning instead. I don't want to use a doppler. I really think it's unnecessary with too much risk. There is lots of good information of why I think the way I do here....

http://members.tripod.com/pro_uc-ivil/id10.html

And this great big surprise from the FDA of all places...

http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/2004/104_images.html

Feeling Weepy today

After a great day at the park, I came home to call some more midwives in my search. I spoke with a few and then just wanted to stop. I really don't like it. I never really know what to say or ask. What I really want to say is, "Do you love being a midwife and will you enjoy the time we spend together?" I always end up talking in a circle, asking the fee and talking about how I birthed a 9 1/2 lb-er that was 3 1/2 weeks "late" with no problem. I have two in home appointments next week. They are in the evening so maybe Danny can help sort this out. I really want Liz. It's almost worth it to just pay her to stay with me the second half of June until the baby comes. Probably still wouldn't cost as much as some of the midwives charge. So now I just feel weepy. I am so on the verge of crying and have several times this afternoon. I guess I want to really know that the midwife is like me or isn't judgemental about religion, etc. I know my birthing will be easy and so wonderful. Gabriel and Julianna said I didn't need to worry- that they would "catch the baby together and make sure to put down soft blankets for the baby to land on". That made me smile! But it really is that easy. I guess I really just want to have that extra pair of hands here at a moments notice any time of day or night. That's not easy for a friend or family member really. Hmmm, now that I'm thinking, I wonder if my sister Tina would come and catch the baby. She wanted to come when the baby was born anyway. Hmmm, I think the evening is looking brighter!! Baby Jade just kicked- must be in agreement!

What a difference 11 days makes!

Wow- I'm growing, too!!

New Belly Shot

Wow- looks big, huh?? (probably a little bloat, but I'm definitely growing right along with Baby Jade)

I'm 33 inches now around my belly. I'm 114lbs.