Why do I love being pregnant? Why do I love birthing and raising children? Hmmmm. I've been thinking about that all evening. Why do I get so in to it? Why do I dive in and learn everything I can? I imagine it's for lots of reasons. Let me think here...I don't get to play field hockey on a team anymore. I don't get to play softball with the women's league with my sister. I can't play summer lacrosse with my other sister. I never just go for a jog or hike or bike ride. I've changed. I'm not fast anymore. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I'm not really an athlete anymore. I miss that. I miss the challenges, the game the results from practice and hard work. But....I've found something else I love and enjoy to the fullest even more. It's being pregnant and having children. I love it. I love everything about it. It's something I'm pretty much totally in charge of- with good advice. It's all mine- with loving support. It's a goal-with shared wisdom. It's an adventure-that has happened before, though will be different every time. It's how I learn so much about myself. I love preparing for pregnancy and the wonderful conversations with my husband about how life changing this is. I love being pregnant and birthing. From the could I really be...? to the dip stick results to the telling of friends and family. I love the huge smile on my husband's face when he knows that he gets to be another one's Daddy. I love when I grow out of my pants and sit on the couch, unzip my pants and just hold my rounding belly. I love feeling that little bit of nausea to remind me of my journey at hand. I love finding out what's happening with the baby today. How big is she? What has she accomplished with me in forming this new body? I love the first flutters of movement and the later large moving elbows and knees. I love making tea and sipping and thinking about how it's toning my uterus. I love the dreams. I love baby hiccups. I love the look on the children's faces when they watch the baby kick an object off my belly. I love when my child lays a head on my belly and just enjoys the warmth and rhythms. I love looking in name books and saying the names aloud to see how they fit. I love looking in the mirror and seeing a smile come back because I'm thinking about the miracle inside. I love the first twang that means I will soon meet this new one. I love the feeling when I know I can bring on a surge and be in control enough to bring it and open to welcome the baby. I love the feeling of the urge to push being satisfied. I love the feeling of the baby's head all hairy and slippery when I reach between my legs and feel it. I love that last push when I feel that instant relief and accomplishment as I listen to the soft, first breath of someone else who has just worked hard,too. I love the first time the little pink slippery one nurses and feels that peace and comfort of home and security. I love being pregnant. I love birthing my children. I love playing with them and watching them grow. I love them. I love being pregnant and birthing. I want to do it right and see how the miracle happens. I want to learn all I can about it. What's new in pregnancy? What herbs are still most beneficial? What about the birthing? How great it would be to rent a place on the ocean in Southern Florida and just birth there in my own island with no one around but my family or on a bean bag chair or a birthing ball or in a cabin in the woods or wow- what about in the RV at Yellowstone? I read, I read I read. Books books books, internet, magazines, etc etc. What else can I know? What's the best food? What should I avoid? What if there are twins, what if, when, how, etc etc. And then....The new baby- wow! That incredible feeling of heavy, pink, slippery, warmth when I first feel the joy that just left my body. The immediate connection I feel as the little pink one opens his squished eyes and looks at me. The smiles that fill the faces of my other children as they meet their new sibling. The "phew" from my loving, excited, proud husband who carried me for the last few hours.
I love being pregnant. It isn't a "pregnant thing". It's one thing I love. What I treasure. What I can only do one more time for the rest of my life. It doesn't take the place of my other loves- my husband, my children my family. It just is something that adds to it. It gives me an additional focus and ability to gain wisdom. It gives me a responsibility I wholeheartedly treasure and take on.
I really am looking forward to enjoying and sharing the pregnancy with those I love. I am so lucky to have this opportunity once again. I will always love and get pleasure from being pregnant with and birthing and raising our children. I am the most fortunate woman on the earth!!
